19 - Apr - 2021
Memories from a Ramdan Workday
It's after twelve. I had dozed off on my table, the earphones were still playing "Heros tonight". Not in my ears though. Chrome had multiple open tabs, moodle had timed out, the Descartes Reading, Exotel, WhatsApp and some pirated site ready to play Grey’s Anatomy. There is a match in about half an hour. The title race is still on. Some silverware would be nice. Not that we have a shortage, but still. Watching Madrid win matches is something that still gets me pumped up. I've jumped in happiness, cried in despair, went silent in frustration.
Love for this insanely rich football team began in Kuwait. I was twelve I guess. I got my first real Madrid jersey. It was the number 23 Ozil jersey, I think from the 2010/11 season. Of course, it was fake. Kuwait has a great collection of fake yet awesome jerseys. You could never tell the difference. I fell in love with Ozil too then. I had a heartbreak when he signed for Arsenal years later. Things have changed since dad bought us that jersey. We left Kuwait. Dad stayed back in Kuwait though. My brother passed out of school, got into college, I switched schools back home, Dad came home from Kuwait, we went to hospitals we never thought would go, waited in labs we never thought would expect us, the world went into lockdown, we came home, I passed out of school, we went to more hospitals, I got into college, we went to more hospitals, we came home once again, more hospitals, until one day dad went alone. Normally this would be followed by leaving us alone and devastated. Of course, we did feel alone, After all, I am writing this in the middle of the night, but still, he left us stuff to dwell upon and be happy, and I guess he left us a happy man. As happy a man in his condition can be.
Descartes didn't seem to make more sense than before, it was the same old stuff I had read before falling asleep. Philosophy did need some work. My overthinking brain has been on a different level of activity since my first class. And I had already submitted my notes and answers. Not much use staying on this tab.
Someone had granted Admin privileges for me on Exotel. The busy side panel seemed kinda nice. it gave a facade of having some power. I haven't made calls for more than a week though. But yeah, Jharconnect had been nice. Nitish had been nicer, and all the other people, who had put up with my constant doubts, mostly stemming from my insecurity, and inability to make decisions. But Exotel has this nice way of greeting us in different languages. every time you refresh the page, it greets you in a different language. That is something that has made me smile every now and then. Even you would like it if you had come when I called. Hell, even Nitish called you.
Whatsapp is flooded with messages. Of course, it should be. It's a match night. And the team is plagued with injuries. Then there's the faculty group of my friend's tuition we plan on expanding. They asked me to teach Social Sciences. After all, I was the only one who scored in Humanities in Plus Two. And he couldn't handle college and this together. He is one of the lucky guys to have actual college this year. The government also gave him a shot of the vaccine. So life has been good for him after plus two. Unlike many of us. Then there is you. It's been some time since you send me that video with the caption that said something about wallflowers. I haven't opened that chat because of two things. One, things dint go well last time we texted on WhatsApp. Like the many times after we started texting on WhatsApp. WhatsApp brings a different level of intimacy that we aren’t prepared for. So let it be. You can find me here or where we first started talking about stuff. And more importantly, I am emotionally too drained to reminiscence about "the perks of being a wallflower." So it's a win-win situation.
Grey's anatomy, is nice. A bit too much drama, but it has the sense of security long shows have. Like the Mentalist, or TBBT. FRIENDS is long but too popular. So no FRIENDS. Grey's anatomy is not much popular. At least in my circles. So that's nice. No one will put up 30 seconds long cut scenes with overhyped music every other day, running the experience for me. So yeah, Grey’s Anatomy. It's nice, but I feel Mark Sloan should have stayed, George O'Malley too. I think ill stop watching if Alex leaves, or if Bailey leaves, or if Webber leaves. That's too much change for me. One thing I watch long series is because of the hope that while everything changes, what I am watching is there. In pirated sites and Telegram Channels.
I've switched off my laptop when I remember the match has already kicked off. Suhoor is in a couple of hours. But I am awake anyway. And the title race is still on. I switch on my laptop once again. The lock screen with dads car stared at me as I typed in the password. Dad’s car is a different story altogether. But there's a game on. And we are in the title race.
P S: This was originally published elsewhere on 19th April 2021. Alex Karev left, and Grey’s has become a lot worse. But GreySloanMemorial is home. I think Real Madrid lost that night, I slept in despair that night. I left Jharconnect six months later, though I am still in the loop of what’s happening. I amn’t doing Phil this semester, though I am weirdly looking towards the course next semester. Things change fast. Even though it dosen’t feel like its been a lot of time since the orginal post.
Until Next time,
Abdul Fathah Nazar